Friday, May 22, 2009

NHL Playoff Awards

Here at Melrose's Mullet, we are big fans of the NHL and as the playoffs are headed to the Stanley Cup Final, we thought we would give our list of playoff awards, here are the gentlemen that stood out from the rest. I hope you enjoy brahs.

Best Playoff Beard

This award clearly goes to Dan Cleary of the Detroit Red Wings. Now this guy can grow some hair. This man has been down right nasty for the Wings this year and has been sporting a great beard. This is why the NHL playoffs are awesome because of the tradition and Cleary is clearly head and shoulders above the rest with his sick beard.

Best Mullet

Hands down this has to go to Simeon Varlamov. I know he is relatively knew, and he let down my Capitals in game 7 against the Pens, but he did rock the sweetest mullet. I think it is because he is from Russia and he must be good friends with our leader, Barry Melrose. Hopefully next year he wont blow it, but until then here is awesome Mullet.

Funniest Moment

This award easily goes to Scott Walker of the Carolina Hurricanes, twice. First his so called "sucker punch" on Aaron Ward was awesome. That was just a simply great punch, Ward should have been ready, it's the playoffs games are meant to be physical. Then second, to top it off Walker scores the game winning goal in Boston in OT during Game 7. That placed went silent. I laughed my ass off. Thanks Scott for shutting up my friend Tom Tom.

Biggest Cry Baby

This award was the easiest to decide. Who else could it go to other than Sid "the Overrated" Kid? That's right, no one. If he does not get his way, he cries. (and he can't grow facial hair, he looks like a turrible knucklehead) I hate him with a passion. Everybody in the NHL loves him, I'd take Ovechkin over him everyday. So Sid, go shut-up before I kick the living shit out of you.

Sweetest Hockey Name

Another Red Wings gets on our list and his name is Valtteri Filppula. Now it is very tough to pronounce his name, it took awhile for me to figure out how to say it, but it is a great name. There are alot of European players in the playoffs with sweet names, but I had to pick Filppula and he has been doing well for the Wings this postseason.

Best Hitter

This award goes to Niklas Kronwall of the Detroit Red Wings. His hit on Martin Havlat during Game 3 of the Western Conference Finals shows why. It was down right nasty. That was a turrible decision by the refs to throw him out. It clearly was a good hit, and the replays showed this. If an opposing player has his head down, he'll hit them. He has mastered the big hit at the offensive blue line. All players should learn from him.

Biggest Choke Artist

This was a tight battle (could have gone to the bruins or devils), but the winner is No Show Joe and the San Jose Sharks. After winning the President's Trophy, "The Best Team in the League" loses in the first round. How could you not find this funny. I laughed my ass off when they lost. I know they lost to the Ducks and Ryan Getzlaf deserves a lot more respect because he is really underrated, but Jonas Hiller was their goalie. He never played in the playoffs before. This just proves that No Show is highly overrated and sucks in the postseason.


  1. Ovechkin is a dirty player. Crosby is a class act. Most commentators agree Crosby is better than Ovechkin. Plus Ovechkin can't step up in the playoffs. It's the playoffs that matter, right? P.S. Ovechkin got bullied by Malkin's DAD in the tunnel after the game. Now that's a pussy for you.

  2. Crosby can't win the cup either? So if you're trying to point out that Crosby is better at losing in the Stanley Cup Finals than Ovechkin... then Yes.

  3. Lmao they polled all the NHL players in SI on who was the best 50% said Ovechkin, Crosby was in 8th with 1.5%

  4. I am very disappointed in the selection of best hitter. I understand this is really focusing on the playoffs, but couldnt some recogniztion go to teams that did not make it, especially for the hitting category where Cal Clutterbuck not only broke but absolutely destroyed the season hits record this year.

  5. Crosby punches dudes in the balls. That's something that deserves respect, right? He's a pussy.

  6. Yes Scott, this was only focused on the playoffs. I also tried to add some humor in this. I don't really like sid, but he is good. I just believe Ovechkin is better. That seven game series between the two could have gone either way. Ovechkin will win a couple of cups because of what he has learned from SERGEI FEDOROV

  7. Couldn't agree more about Cindy. Ovechkin is by far a better player. Too bad the rest of the team can't help him win some games.

  8. Timmy writes:

    "Most commentators agree Crosby is better than Ovechkin."

    Well, that's flat out not true. And in an NHL poll (in Sports Illustrated, no less) 51% of players picked Ovechkin, while 1.5% picked Crosby.

    But my favourite line:

    "But Ovechkin can't step up in the playoffs."

    He had 21 points in TWO SERIES! What else can you ask out of a guy? His team failed him.

  9. Haha...I love it! And totally agree about Crosby. Did you see him after tonight's game 1 loss to Detroit? The Wings are lined up to congratulate Osgood, and Crosby skates by and pokes Maltby with his stick. Face of the NHL? God I hope not. Give me Darren Helm any day!

  10. Thanks Derek. The red wings proved they are better. They have a better system. First game, hold malkin and crosby to just 1 point. Incredible, and Helm will be dangerous in the next couple years.

  11. You call Crosby the biggest crybaby, but don't mention him whining about Caps fans throwing hats on the ice after Ovechkin's hat trick? That may be the whiniest statement I've ever heard from a pro athlete.

  12. Sorry Andrew, I forgot about that. Didn't remember it at the time. It just adds to his babiness