2009 French Open Predictions

Here at Melrose's Mullet we are interested in the French Open and are going to give our predictions/odds are who is going to win the Women's draw. Hold on a sec, no one out there probably cares about our predictions, so here are a few of the lovely ladies that we hope go far, I hope you guys enjoy.






By the way, I hope anybody wins besides Federer on the Men's side because I do not want him to tie my boy Sampras's record of 14 Grand Slam Titles, my money is on Nadal to win.

NHL Playoff Awards

Here at Melrose's Mullet, we are big fans of the NHL and as the playoffs are headed to the Stanley Cup Final, we thought we would give our list of playoff awards, here are the gentlemen that stood out from the rest. I hope you enjoy brahs.

Best Playoff Beard

This award clearly goes to Dan Cleary of the Detroit Red Wings. Now this guy can grow some hair. This man has been down right nasty for the Wings this year and has been sporting a great beard. This is why the NHL playoffs are awesome because of the tradition and Cleary is clearly head and shoulders above the rest with his sick beard.

Best Mullet

Hands down this has to go to Simeon Varlamov. I know he is relatively knew, and he let down my Capitals in game 7 against the Pens, but he did rock the sweetest mullet. I think it is because he is from Russia and he must be good friends with our leader, Barry Melrose. Hopefully next year he wont blow it, but until then here is awesome Mullet.

Funniest Moment

This award easily goes to Scott Walker of the Carolina Hurricanes, twice. First his so called "sucker punch" on Aaron Ward was awesome. That was just a simply great punch, Ward should have been ready, it's the playoffs games are meant to be physical. Then second, to top it off Walker scores the game winning goal in Boston in OT during Game 7. That placed went silent. I laughed my ass off. Thanks Scott for shutting up my friend Tom Tom.

Biggest Cry Baby

This award was the easiest to decide. Who else could it go to other than Sid "the Overrated" Kid? That's right, no one. If he does not get his way, he cries. (and he can't grow facial hair, he looks like a turrible knucklehead) I hate him with a passion. Everybody in the NHL loves him, I'd take Ovechkin over him everyday. So Sid, go shut-up before I kick the living shit out of you.

Sweetest Hockey Name

Another Red Wings gets on our list and his name is Valtteri Filppula. Now it is very tough to pronounce his name, it took awhile for me to figure out how to say it, but it is a great name. There are alot of European players in the playoffs with sweet names, but I had to pick Filppula and he has been doing well for the Wings this postseason.

Best Hitter

This award goes to Niklas Kronwall of the Detroit Red Wings. His hit on Martin Havlat during Game 3 of the Western Conference Finals shows why. It was down right nasty. That was a turrible decision by the refs to throw him out. It clearly was a good hit, and the replays showed this. If an opposing player has his head down, he'll hit them. He has mastered the big hit at the offensive blue line. All players should learn from him.

Biggest Choke Artist

This was a tight battle (could have gone to the bruins or devils), but the winner is No Show Joe and the San Jose Sharks. After winning the President's Trophy, "The Best Team in the League" loses in the first round. How could you not find this funny. I laughed my ass off when they lost. I know they lost to the Ducks and Ryan Getzlaf deserves a lot more respect because he is really underrated, but Jonas Hiller was their goalie. He never played in the playoffs before. This just proves that No Show is highly overrated and sucks in the postseason.

How Turrible the NBA Final Four Will Be

I can not express how deeply saddened I am as a Boston Celtics fan to watch the rest of the NBA playoffs. Scratch that, I will not be watching the NBA playoffs anymo. I HATE the LAKERS, I HATE the LEBRONS, I HATE the ORLANDO THREE-POINTERS, and I don't really like the NUGGETS. If I have to root for someone it would have to be the Nuggets. That team intrigues me becasue of the BIRDMAN and MELO. Birdmans' tattoos are sweet and his hairdo is awesome. I've really jumped on his bandwagon, and I would take Melo' over any of the other draft picks from 2003. The only thing though is that they have to play the Lakers and I can not watch that, unless they are up 24 in LA and beating the Celtics during the NBA Finals. I despise how everyone thinks Sasha "A road cone can play better defense than me" Vujacic is good or the fact that Odom, Bynum or Gasol are excellent players. They are all overrated and don't even get me started on Kobe's new movie. (Kobe just come out and say that you are the most selfish player in the NBA and got away with rape.)

Now onto to the Eastern Conference, this is the worst match-up ever. I do not want to see Anderson Varejo slap anymo butts. Honestly if one of his teammates falls down on the other side of the court, he rushes over and picks him up and slaps his ass. Just come out Brah, seriously. The Magic think they have the best center in the league in Duh...Duh...Duh-White Howard, but he sucks. All they do is shoot three pointers, they are the Dukies of the NBA. He-Doo Turk-A-Glue needs to go back to Europe. So as the the NBA season wines down, and nobody is watching the NBA finals because when it's Kobe vs. Lebron, (this match-up was already pre-determined by Stern and Donaghy after the Olympics) I'll be watching the NHL playoffs and watchin my Red Wings repeat.

Congrats Sir Mullet

Congratulations to our founder Barry Melrose and his 31 years to his wonderful wife Cindy. Today is there wedding anniversary. Making it that far with a man who still rocks a mullet is incredible. As a hockey fan and playing it for most of my life, I do not think I could find a wife who would be there for me for 31 years while having a mullet. That is impressive Cindy. On another note, Barry what is up with you tanning? Hockey players don't tan, but you still are the man. Here is to you Cindy and Barry!