It came to my attention at work that today is the birthday of the one and only Bob Dylan. While some say he was not blessed with the greatest voice of all-time (I find nothing wrong with it), he is one of the greatest musicians, song writers of all the times and has been a music icon for five decades. I'll leave you with five great Dylan tunes to listen to while celebrating his birthday.
Mr. Tambourine Man
The Hurricane
The Times They Are A-Changin
Masters of War (song starts after about 50 seconds)
Bob Dylan's MASTERS of WAR
Positively 4th Street
Bob Dylan - Positively 4th Street (Live)
The last two were really hard to find original versions.
Showing posts with label butters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label butters. Show all posts
Monday, May 24, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Midweek Rant
I work at a large department store, as a janitor. Yesterday (October 13th), I walked out from the back (where the housekeeping “office” is located) and noticed people were already putting Christmas decorations up in the store – lights, wreaths, red and green wallpaper. It was a truly sickening sight. I’ve worked here for a little over a year (meaning I dealt with this shit last year too). However, as bad as it is that they have the decorations up, some Christmas merchandise already for sale on the floor (as well as a shit load of fake trees out back), the worst part has yet to come – the music. Starting in about two weeks, all I will hear when I get to work is Christmas music; from the end of October until December 24th (amazingly they close on Christmas).
Last year, I heard the mixing in of Christmas songs at the end of October, and at first it wasn’t bad, considering the shitty music I’m forced to listen to on a regular basis. The X-Mas music began playing more and more often, until it was all that was playing. For two months it’s all I heard at work (along with the usual annoying customers and children). By Thanksgiving, I was already sick of Christmas and the season. I used to love Christmas, it was a great time to see family, eat food and exchange gifts. Now, I dread the time of year because before Halloween the Christmas “spirit” is getting shoved down my throat. Fuck you for ruining Christmas, you fucks.
Last year, I heard the mixing in of Christmas songs at the end of October, and at first it wasn’t bad, considering the shitty music I’m forced to listen to on a regular basis. The X-Mas music began playing more and more often, until it was all that was playing. For two months it’s all I heard at work (along with the usual annoying customers and children). By Thanksgiving, I was already sick of Christmas and the season. I used to love Christmas, it was a great time to see family, eat food and exchange gifts. Now, I dread the time of year because before Halloween the Christmas “spirit” is getting shoved down my throat. Fuck you for ruining Christmas, you fucks.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Don't Blame the Closer
Yesterday was not a good day for Boston fans. New England blew a ten point lead to Denver and Jonathan Papelbon, shockingly, blew a lead in a playoff game (at least the Celtics won their preseason game). Prior to yesterday, Paps had not allowed a run in twenty seven postseason innings. To all those Red Sox fans who want him traded (and presumably Bard installed as the new closer), shut up. Sure, Paps struggled early in the season, but in the second half of the year, he had numbers more in line with his career averages (5.83 K/BB and .897 WHIP). There is also the fact that Bard isn’t ready to close and he might not have the mental makeup to do it. Trading Papelbon would weaken the strong point of this team (bullpen) and probably wouldn’t add enough to jolt the lineup.
The real problem with this team is the lineup. It should be better next year, with a full season of Victor Martinez at catcher (picking up his option is a no brainer). Bay is a free agent and an option is held on Alex Gonzalez. Other than that, the starters are under contract. So what can be done to make the lineup more productive? Here is my plan to improve the lineup (as well as the defense).
I would pick up the option on Gonzalez and platoon him with Lowrie at shortstop. Offer Bay (and Wagner) arbitration and let them walk. Take the four picks and re-tool the farm system. If Tampa Bay declines their option on Carl Crawford, make a run for him to play LF. If that fails (or TB picks up the option), go after Chone Figgins to play left. Either one of them would be a great improvement in defense over Bay (especially away from Boston), and they would add another element of speed (along with Ellsbury) in the lineup. Yes, it takes some power away, but I have an idea for that as well. It is very possible that either Prince Fielder or Adrian Gonzalez could be available via trade this winter (no facts to back that up, just rumors that have been reported). Lars Anderson/Michael Bowden/Ryan Kalish/Stolmy Pimental could be a good base offer, maybe subbing in Daniel Bard for one of them (most likely Bowden); I would hate to see Casey Kelly get moved, but if it brought Gonzalez back, I’d do it. It would look like this would cripple the farm system; however, with Bay and Wagner leaving the Red Sox should be able to acquire two first round picks (maybe a second rounder at worst) and two sandwich picks to replenish the farm. This would leave a lineup of 1. Ellsbury 2. Crawford/Figgins 3. Martinez 4. Gonzalez/Fielder 5.Youkilis 6. Pedroia 7. Ortiz 8. Drew 9. Gonzalez/Lowrie.
The rotation looks set, as long as Dicek can come back healthy next year. Maybe take a one year flier (I know it didn’t work this year, but it never hurts) on a guy like Erik Bedard or Rich Harden to add some depth. That would leave a rotation of Beckett/Lester/Dicek/Buchholz/Wakefield and one of the recovering starters. With the bullpen, I’d like to see Saito stick around (pick up his option too). This would leave Paps, Saito, Okajima, Delcarmen, Ramirez and possibly Bard as the main men. The only thing needed would be another lefty, maybe Ron Mahay (external option) or Hunter Jones (internal option).
The team, constructed this way, would be able to attack pitchers a variety of ways – speed, power and ability to wear them out. The pitching staff would be just as good (maybe better if more progression is made by Buchholz, and Wakefield is able to comeback) as this season, especially if Papelbon is still closing games.
The real problem with this team is the lineup. It should be better next year, with a full season of Victor Martinez at catcher (picking up his option is a no brainer). Bay is a free agent and an option is held on Alex Gonzalez. Other than that, the starters are under contract. So what can be done to make the lineup more productive? Here is my plan to improve the lineup (as well as the defense).
I would pick up the option on Gonzalez and platoon him with Lowrie at shortstop. Offer Bay (and Wagner) arbitration and let them walk. Take the four picks and re-tool the farm system. If Tampa Bay declines their option on Carl Crawford, make a run for him to play LF. If that fails (or TB picks up the option), go after Chone Figgins to play left. Either one of them would be a great improvement in defense over Bay (especially away from Boston), and they would add another element of speed (along with Ellsbury) in the lineup. Yes, it takes some power away, but I have an idea for that as well. It is very possible that either Prince Fielder or Adrian Gonzalez could be available via trade this winter (no facts to back that up, just rumors that have been reported). Lars Anderson/Michael Bowden/Ryan Kalish/Stolmy Pimental could be a good base offer, maybe subbing in Daniel Bard for one of them (most likely Bowden); I would hate to see Casey Kelly get moved, but if it brought Gonzalez back, I’d do it. It would look like this would cripple the farm system; however, with Bay and Wagner leaving the Red Sox should be able to acquire two first round picks (maybe a second rounder at worst) and two sandwich picks to replenish the farm. This would leave a lineup of 1. Ellsbury 2. Crawford/Figgins 3. Martinez 4. Gonzalez/Fielder 5.Youkilis 6. Pedroia 7. Ortiz 8. Drew 9. Gonzalez/Lowrie.
The rotation looks set, as long as Dicek can come back healthy next year. Maybe take a one year flier (I know it didn’t work this year, but it never hurts) on a guy like Erik Bedard or Rich Harden to add some depth. That would leave a rotation of Beckett/Lester/Dicek/Buchholz/Wakefield and one of the recovering starters. With the bullpen, I’d like to see Saito stick around (pick up his option too). This would leave Paps, Saito, Okajima, Delcarmen, Ramirez and possibly Bard as the main men. The only thing needed would be another lefty, maybe Ron Mahay (external option) or Hunter Jones (internal option).
The team, constructed this way, would be able to attack pitchers a variety of ways – speed, power and ability to wear them out. The pitching staff would be just as good (maybe better if more progression is made by Buchholz, and Wakefield is able to comeback) as this season, especially if Papelbon is still closing games.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Another Favre Story. Great.
You may have heard(or may not have, though I don't know how that could have happened) that Brett Favre is the starting quarterback for the Vikings. Over the past three years, stories about Favre have been beaten more than Rihanna. Thursday was no different -- my favorite Maine Campus author penned an article about Favre.
I’m 22 years old. I’m a fifth-year senior in college
I am divorced. And I live in van down by the river!
I’ve been watching Brett Favre and marveling about the things he does on a football field that continues to this day.
Throwing the most interceptions of all time?
As I referenced in last week’s column, the typical drop-back, pocket passer is gradually becoming less relevant due to the speed of defenses these days.
It's still as false as it was last week. Of the five best QBs in the NFL (in no order - Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, Drew Brees, Ben Roethlisberger and Phillip Rivers), only Roethlisberger could be considered mobile. Also consider the wave of young QBs (Matt Ryan, Joe Flacco, Matt Stafford, Mark Sanchez). They are pocket passers.
However, the most impressive guys at that position have still been able to rely on their arm strength and knowledge of defenses to have success
Is there a good QB in the NFL that doesn't have knowledge of the opposing defense?
Tom Brady and Peyton Manning are not typically recognized for their ability to escape the pass-rush
But drop back passers are becoming irrelevant! Brady and Manning should be looking over their shoulders.
They seem to always know who’s going to be open and where the ball should go depending on coverage.
Good quarterbacks can read defenses. They spend all week practicing and watching film of opposing teams.
After three years of his inability to retire, Favre has found himself playing for the Minnesota Vikings.
It's not an inability to retire. He hates going to training camp, an activity everyone in the league has to do.
After the 2006 season, Favre retired,
Actually, he didn't retire then; he was only thinking about it.
He played one season with the Jets and made them a playoff contender until their last regular season game
Where he threw the season away, divided the locker room and got the coach fired. While the Jets former starting quarterback won the division with the Dolphins. And if I recall correctly, they needed about fifteen things to go their way to even make the playoffs in the last game (after blowing a two or three game division lead).
The Jets had already picked USC quarterback Mark Sanchez in the draft, so he signed with the Packers NFC North rival, Vikings
After he begged the Jets to release him and then spending two months flying between Mississippi and Minnesota before claiming he wouldn't sign. He then signed two weeks later.
Most people would be playing golf and drinking Coronas on South Beach. But Favre is different
When all is done, he wants to farm
But his performance against his former employer has made me realize something:
I bet it's going to be something groundbreaking.
Love of the game is more powerful than any other variable
Really? So if I love the game enough, I could go play pro baseball (despite my inability to hit when I played in Little League)?
After all, football is still a game
A game that requires you to be in top physical condition (unless you're JaMarcus Russell) and have a pain tolerance large enough to take hits from 300 pound linemen.
Favre looks like a 13-year old girl at a Backstreet Boys concert when he steps on the gridiron.
HE PLAYS THE GAME LIKE A KID! HE IS REALLY ENJOYING HIMSELF OUT THERE!
Somebody give this man a backstage pass.
He could probably get them to play a private concert (he has plenty of money) and, you know, if they were still a band (and didn't suck)
I’m 22 years old. I’m a fifth-year senior in college
I am divorced. And I live in van down by the river!
I’ve been watching Brett Favre and marveling about the things he does on a football field that continues to this day.
Throwing the most interceptions of all time?
As I referenced in last week’s column, the typical drop-back, pocket passer is gradually becoming less relevant due to the speed of defenses these days.
It's still as false as it was last week. Of the five best QBs in the NFL (in no order - Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, Drew Brees, Ben Roethlisberger and Phillip Rivers), only Roethlisberger could be considered mobile. Also consider the wave of young QBs (Matt Ryan, Joe Flacco, Matt Stafford, Mark Sanchez). They are pocket passers.
However, the most impressive guys at that position have still been able to rely on their arm strength and knowledge of defenses to have success
Is there a good QB in the NFL that doesn't have knowledge of the opposing defense?
Tom Brady and Peyton Manning are not typically recognized for their ability to escape the pass-rush
But drop back passers are becoming irrelevant! Brady and Manning should be looking over their shoulders.
They seem to always know who’s going to be open and where the ball should go depending on coverage.
Good quarterbacks can read defenses. They spend all week practicing and watching film of opposing teams.
After three years of his inability to retire, Favre has found himself playing for the Minnesota Vikings.
It's not an inability to retire. He hates going to training camp, an activity everyone in the league has to do.
After the 2006 season, Favre retired,
Actually, he didn't retire then; he was only thinking about it.
He played one season with the Jets and made them a playoff contender until their last regular season game
Where he threw the season away, divided the locker room and got the coach fired. While the Jets former starting quarterback won the division with the Dolphins. And if I recall correctly, they needed about fifteen things to go their way to even make the playoffs in the last game (after blowing a two or three game division lead).
The Jets had already picked USC quarterback Mark Sanchez in the draft, so he signed with the Packers NFC North rival, Vikings
After he begged the Jets to release him and then spending two months flying between Mississippi and Minnesota before claiming he wouldn't sign. He then signed two weeks later.
Most people would be playing golf and drinking Coronas on South Beach. But Favre is different
When all is done, he wants to farm
But his performance against his former employer has made me realize something:
I bet it's going to be something groundbreaking.
Love of the game is more powerful than any other variable
Really? So if I love the game enough, I could go play pro baseball (despite my inability to hit when I played in Little League)?
After all, football is still a game
A game that requires you to be in top physical condition (unless you're JaMarcus Russell) and have a pain tolerance large enough to take hits from 300 pound linemen.
Favre looks like a 13-year old girl at a Backstreet Boys concert when he steps on the gridiron.
HE PLAYS THE GAME LIKE A KID! HE IS REALLY ENJOYING HIMSELF OUT THERE!
Somebody give this man a backstage pass.
He could probably get them to play a private concert (he has plenty of money) and, you know, if they were still a band (and didn't suck)
Friday, October 2, 2009
College Quarterbacks Love Tim Tebow
Last Spring, while reading the Maine Campus, I read an article about how Tim Duncan was overrated. After that, I read most of the articles that this guy wrote, most of them being just as bad as the last. Since Twister and I opened up this blog, I figured it would be a good place for me to let my feelings out about how much his articles suck, and do it in a style of one of my favorite blogs. This week's topic -- Tim Tebow
The first two paragraphs contain nothing new, basically saying that Sam Bradford, Colt McCoy and Tim Tebow could win the Heisman again and the draft status of the first two.
After Bradford would come McCoy, again early in the first round because of his athleticism and efficiency. But most analysts could not come to an agreement on where Tim Tebow would be drafted.
I think most of them agreed Tebow wouldn’t be picked in the first round.
Their justification is that Tebow is a thick, physical player who likes to run over linebackers and doesn’t always rely on his pinpoint accuracy to be successful. In the NFL, passing windows get smaller and a quarterback is required to fit the pigskin into areas with a much lesser margin for error.
That isn’t a justification; it’s a fact.
This column is dedicated to NFL draft-analysts Todd McShay and Mel Kiper Jr. If any NFL general managers are reading this column (which is as good a chance as Orlando Pace beating Usain Bolt in the 100-meter dash), you could learn a few things too.
Apparently you know more than the people who get paid to study and build the future of their teams from the draft. I know where I’m going for my mock draft next April. Orlando Pace? Really? He hasn’t been good/healthy for five years. You couldn’t have picked a good LT to use for the metaphor?
Tim Tebow is an NFL quarterback.
Actually, he is currently a college quarterback, but since you say it, it must be true
He plays in the most competitive conference in college football and has had consistent success since his first day in Gainesville.
His first year in Gainesville, he backed up Chris Leak.
He has won two national championships in three years there
Chris Leak was the starting quarterback for the first one.
If their reasoning is that he plays in a spread offense, something that is as uncommon in the NFL as a Ryan Leaf touchdown pass,
Or as uncommon as a Mike Brusko touchdown pass. The last spread QB drafted in the first round (also coached by Urban Meyer) – Alex Smith.
The standard drop-back passer is gradually fading out
Out of the last ten Superbowl winners, there is only one I would consider a mobile QB (Roethlisberger) and he isn’t exactly fleet of foot.
The wildcat has become more prevalent at the highest level and its effectiveness can’t be debated.
Except that it hasn’t been as effective this year.
After all, what do you look for in a quarterback?
Strong arm, good accuracy, ability to read a defense, understand the playbook.
If your answer isn’t a guy who wins games, I wouldn’t want to play for you either.
Jack Cosgrove, you’re on notice.
The first two paragraphs contain nothing new, basically saying that Sam Bradford, Colt McCoy and Tim Tebow could win the Heisman again and the draft status of the first two.
After Bradford would come McCoy, again early in the first round because of his athleticism and efficiency. But most analysts could not come to an agreement on where Tim Tebow would be drafted.
I think most of them agreed Tebow wouldn’t be picked in the first round.
Their justification is that Tebow is a thick, physical player who likes to run over linebackers and doesn’t always rely on his pinpoint accuracy to be successful. In the NFL, passing windows get smaller and a quarterback is required to fit the pigskin into areas with a much lesser margin for error.
That isn’t a justification; it’s a fact.
This column is dedicated to NFL draft-analysts Todd McShay and Mel Kiper Jr. If any NFL general managers are reading this column (which is as good a chance as Orlando Pace beating Usain Bolt in the 100-meter dash), you could learn a few things too.
Apparently you know more than the people who get paid to study and build the future of their teams from the draft. I know where I’m going for my mock draft next April. Orlando Pace? Really? He hasn’t been good/healthy for five years. You couldn’t have picked a good LT to use for the metaphor?
Tim Tebow is an NFL quarterback.
Actually, he is currently a college quarterback, but since you say it, it must be true
He plays in the most competitive conference in college football and has had consistent success since his first day in Gainesville.
His first year in Gainesville, he backed up Chris Leak.
He has won two national championships in three years there
Chris Leak was the starting quarterback for the first one.
If their reasoning is that he plays in a spread offense, something that is as uncommon in the NFL as a Ryan Leaf touchdown pass,
Or as uncommon as a Mike Brusko touchdown pass. The last spread QB drafted in the first round (also coached by Urban Meyer) – Alex Smith.
The standard drop-back passer is gradually fading out
Out of the last ten Superbowl winners, there is only one I would consider a mobile QB (Roethlisberger) and he isn’t exactly fleet of foot.
The wildcat has become more prevalent at the highest level and its effectiveness can’t be debated.
Except that it hasn’t been as effective this year.
After all, what do you look for in a quarterback?
Strong arm, good accuracy, ability to read a defense, understand the playbook.
If your answer isn’t a guy who wins games, I wouldn’t want to play for you either.
Jack Cosgrove, you’re on notice.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
My Top 15 Pearl Jam Songs
My top fifteen Pearl Jam songs. This was an extremely tough list to make; originally, this was going to be a top five, then top ten but because of Pearl Jam’s awesomeness it was extended to fifteen. There are no write-ups for any of the songs, as my words would not do them justice, just listen to the music.
15. Betterman - Vitalogy
14. W.M.A. – Vs.
13. State of Love and Trust – Singles soundtrack
12. Alive - Ten
11. Marker in the Sand – Pearl Jam
10. Corduroy – Vitalogy
9. Go – Vs.
8. Gone – Pearl Jam
7. Leash - Vs.
6. Indifference – Vs.
5. Do the Evolution - Yield
4. Black - Ten
3. Porch - Ten
2. Given to Fly - Yield
1. Yellow Ledbetter – Lost Dogs
They are the best band of my lifetime. Next week I will post my top Pearl Jam covers
15. Betterman - Vitalogy
14. W.M.A. – Vs.
13. State of Love and Trust – Singles soundtrack
12. Alive - Ten
11. Marker in the Sand – Pearl Jam
10. Corduroy – Vitalogy
9. Go – Vs.
8. Gone – Pearl Jam
7. Leash - Vs.
6. Indifference – Vs.
5. Do the Evolution - Yield
4. Black - Ten
3. Porch - Ten
2. Given to Fly - Yield
1. Yellow Ledbetter – Lost Dogs
They are the best band of my lifetime. Next week I will post my top Pearl Jam covers
Monday, April 20, 2009
The Melrose's Mullet Mock NFL Draft
I know all of you have been waiting for this and here it is: our mock draft.
1. Lions – Shane Falco, QB (The Replacements). The Lions are going quarterback with the #1 pick, and since they are the Lions, they will pick a guy worse than Joey Harrington.
2. Rams – Billy Bob, OL (Varsity Blues). The Rams need to bolster their offensive line, and adding Billy Bob at guard should give Stephen Jackson more holes to run through.
3. Kansas City – Jumbo, OT (The Replacements). The Chiefs add a big left tackle to protect Matt Cassel’s blind side.
4. Seattle – Ronnie Bass, QB (Remember the Titans). With Matt Hasselbeck getting up there in age, the Seahawks get his eventual replacement. Bass has a strong arm, but has had some issues pitching the ball
5. Cleveland - Charlie Tweeder, WR (Varsity Blues). The Browns add a sure handed receiver to play with Braylon 'rock hands' Edwards. Then Tweeder will drink some beer.
6. Cincinnati - Jamal and Andre Jackson, OG (The Replacements). These brothers come as a package deal and should be a great help to Cincinnati’s awful O-Line. They should fit right in with the rest of the team as well.
7. Oakland – Forrest Gump, KR (Forrest Gump). We all know that Al Davis loves him some fast players and there is no one faster than Forrest Gump. While he may not be able to play receiver right away, he should be able to be the best kick returner in the league immediately. Even though he isn’t a smart man, he knows how to play football.
8. Jacksonville Jaguars – Jonathan Moxin, QB (Varsity Blues). Garrard is in his 30s and struggled last season. Moxin can watch a year or two from the bench before taking over the starting job.
9. Green Bay Packers – Bobby Boucher, ILB/OLB (The Waterboy). With the Packers switching to the 3-4, they need to bolster their linebacker core. Boucher can play both ILB and OLB, will be a menace to block and will provide the team with high quality H20.
10. San Francisco 49ers – Luther Lavay, OLB (Any Given Sunday). The 49ers need a pass rusher and Lavay is one of the top pass rushers in the draft.
11. Buffalo Bills – Wendell Brown, RB (Varsity Blues). With Marshawn in legal trouble, the Bills snag a very good running back here. Brown will carry the team inside the 10 and then Trent Edwards will get them to the endzone.
12. Denver Broncos – Steve Lattimer, DE/DT (The Program). Lattimer is a freak that can anchor a 3-4 defense. He could go top 5, but because of possible off field issues, he drops here.
13. Washington Redskins – Willie Beamen, QB (Any Given Sunday). Not impressed with Jason Campbell so far, the Redskins draft another QB. Beamen is a playmaker but his ego tends to get a bit inflated and he can’t read a playbook.
14. New Orleans Saints – Petey Jones, DB (Remember the Titans). The Saints desperately need defensive help and Petey can come in and provide that. His ego grows with each play he makes, but he will quit on the team if he gets called for holding.
15. Houston Texans – Julius Campbell, DE (Remember the Titans). Campbell should provide an imposing presence opposite of Mario Williams. STRONG SIDE!
16. San Diego Chargers – Ivory Christian, DE (Friday Night Lights). Christian is a huge upgrade to the Chargers defensive line.
17. New York Jets – Rico Dynamite, QB (Napoleon Dynamite). Had the Jets had Rico in the 4th quarter, they would have division champions. No doubt in my mind.
18. Denver Broncos – Daniel Bateman, LB (The Replacements). The Broncos need an ILB for their 3-4 and Bateman is a smart football player, similar to Tedy Bruschi.
19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Paul Crewe, QB (The Longest Yard). In need of QB, the Bucs take the man that led an improbable upset over the guards. If Crewe can get a work release from prison, he is a great pick here.
20. Detroit Lions – Louie Lastik, OL (Remember the Titans). They got their QB with the first pick, now they pick up a lineman to help protect him.
21. Philadelphia Eagles – Brian Murphy, TE (The Replacements). The Eagles add a playmaker for McNabb. McNabb won’t have to worry about his new TE throwing him under the bus because he doesn’t say a whole lot.
22. Minnesota Vikings – Rod Tidwell, WR (Jerry Maguire). Tidwell gives the Vikings a reliable receiver, as long as the show him the money.
23. New England Patriots - Charles Jefferson, LB (Fast Times at Ridgemont High). Jefferson replaces Mike Vrabel at OLB and Bill Belichick is working on getting Jeff Spicoli to destroy Jefferson’s car and blame it on the Jets.
24. Atlanta Falcons - Andre Krimm, DL (Necessary Roughness). Good value pick for the Falcons here. Krimm gives them good depth on the defensive line and he can be the team tutor.
25. Miami Dolphins - Alvin Mack, LB (The Program). Mack could have gone in the top half of the draft, but falls this far because of injury problems. If he is healthy, it’s a great pick for Miami
26. Baltimore Ravens - Deacon Moss, WR (The Longest Yard). Baltimore gives Joe Flacco another receiver to stare down.
27. Indianapolis Colts – Darnell Jefferson, RB (The Program). With Addai disappointing the last couple of seasons, the Colts address their need at RB. Jefferson has a lot of upside and could be a star in the NFL
28. Buffalo Bills – Bud Light, OL (The Program). Buffalo’s overhaul of their offensive line continues. Bud Light should be able to come in and play LT right away.
29. New York Giants - Daniel Ruetigger, LB/DE (Rudy). Just because the Giants fucking would.
30. Tennessee Titans – Stefan Djordevic, CB (All the Right Moves). While very talented, Djordevic falls almost out of the first round because he is only five feet tall.
31. Arizona Cardinals – Julian Washington, RB (Any Given Sunday). The Cardinals had the corpse of Edgerrin James at running back last season. Washington going to Arizona gives the Cards one of the best offenses in the NFL.
32. Pittsburgh Steelers – Manumana, C (Necessary Roughness). The only knock on the Steelers last season was that their offensive line sucked. Manumana helps shore it up and keep Roethlisberger on his feet.
1. Lions – Shane Falco, QB (The Replacements). The Lions are going quarterback with the #1 pick, and since they are the Lions, they will pick a guy worse than Joey Harrington.
2. Rams – Billy Bob, OL (Varsity Blues). The Rams need to bolster their offensive line, and adding Billy Bob at guard should give Stephen Jackson more holes to run through.
3. Kansas City – Jumbo, OT (The Replacements). The Chiefs add a big left tackle to protect Matt Cassel’s blind side.
4. Seattle – Ronnie Bass, QB (Remember the Titans). With Matt Hasselbeck getting up there in age, the Seahawks get his eventual replacement. Bass has a strong arm, but has had some issues pitching the ball
5. Cleveland - Charlie Tweeder, WR (Varsity Blues). The Browns add a sure handed receiver to play with Braylon 'rock hands' Edwards. Then Tweeder will drink some beer.
6. Cincinnati - Jamal and Andre Jackson, OG (The Replacements). These brothers come as a package deal and should be a great help to Cincinnati’s awful O-Line. They should fit right in with the rest of the team as well.
7. Oakland – Forrest Gump, KR (Forrest Gump). We all know that Al Davis loves him some fast players and there is no one faster than Forrest Gump. While he may not be able to play receiver right away, he should be able to be the best kick returner in the league immediately. Even though he isn’t a smart man, he knows how to play football.
8. Jacksonville Jaguars – Jonathan Moxin, QB (Varsity Blues). Garrard is in his 30s and struggled last season. Moxin can watch a year or two from the bench before taking over the starting job.
9. Green Bay Packers – Bobby Boucher, ILB/OLB (The Waterboy). With the Packers switching to the 3-4, they need to bolster their linebacker core. Boucher can play both ILB and OLB, will be a menace to block and will provide the team with high quality H20.
10. San Francisco 49ers – Luther Lavay, OLB (Any Given Sunday). The 49ers need a pass rusher and Lavay is one of the top pass rushers in the draft.
11. Buffalo Bills – Wendell Brown, RB (Varsity Blues). With Marshawn in legal trouble, the Bills snag a very good running back here. Brown will carry the team inside the 10 and then Trent Edwards will get them to the endzone.
12. Denver Broncos – Steve Lattimer, DE/DT (The Program). Lattimer is a freak that can anchor a 3-4 defense. He could go top 5, but because of possible off field issues, he drops here.
13. Washington Redskins – Willie Beamen, QB (Any Given Sunday). Not impressed with Jason Campbell so far, the Redskins draft another QB. Beamen is a playmaker but his ego tends to get a bit inflated and he can’t read a playbook.
14. New Orleans Saints – Petey Jones, DB (Remember the Titans). The Saints desperately need defensive help and Petey can come in and provide that. His ego grows with each play he makes, but he will quit on the team if he gets called for holding.
15. Houston Texans – Julius Campbell, DE (Remember the Titans). Campbell should provide an imposing presence opposite of Mario Williams. STRONG SIDE!
16. San Diego Chargers – Ivory Christian, DE (Friday Night Lights). Christian is a huge upgrade to the Chargers defensive line.
17. New York Jets – Rico Dynamite, QB (Napoleon Dynamite). Had the Jets had Rico in the 4th quarter, they would have division champions. No doubt in my mind.
18. Denver Broncos – Daniel Bateman, LB (The Replacements). The Broncos need an ILB for their 3-4 and Bateman is a smart football player, similar to Tedy Bruschi.
19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Paul Crewe, QB (The Longest Yard). In need of QB, the Bucs take the man that led an improbable upset over the guards. If Crewe can get a work release from prison, he is a great pick here.
20. Detroit Lions – Louie Lastik, OL (Remember the Titans). They got their QB with the first pick, now they pick up a lineman to help protect him.
21. Philadelphia Eagles – Brian Murphy, TE (The Replacements). The Eagles add a playmaker for McNabb. McNabb won’t have to worry about his new TE throwing him under the bus because he doesn’t say a whole lot.
22. Minnesota Vikings – Rod Tidwell, WR (Jerry Maguire). Tidwell gives the Vikings a reliable receiver, as long as the show him the money.
23. New England Patriots - Charles Jefferson, LB (Fast Times at Ridgemont High). Jefferson replaces Mike Vrabel at OLB and Bill Belichick is working on getting Jeff Spicoli to destroy Jefferson’s car and blame it on the Jets.
24. Atlanta Falcons - Andre Krimm, DL (Necessary Roughness). Good value pick for the Falcons here. Krimm gives them good depth on the defensive line and he can be the team tutor.
25. Miami Dolphins - Alvin Mack, LB (The Program). Mack could have gone in the top half of the draft, but falls this far because of injury problems. If he is healthy, it’s a great pick for Miami
26. Baltimore Ravens - Deacon Moss, WR (The Longest Yard). Baltimore gives Joe Flacco another receiver to stare down.
27. Indianapolis Colts – Darnell Jefferson, RB (The Program). With Addai disappointing the last couple of seasons, the Colts address their need at RB. Jefferson has a lot of upside and could be a star in the NFL
28. Buffalo Bills – Bud Light, OL (The Program). Buffalo’s overhaul of their offensive line continues. Bud Light should be able to come in and play LT right away.
29. New York Giants - Daniel Ruetigger, LB/DE (Rudy). Just because the Giants fucking would.
30. Tennessee Titans – Stefan Djordevic, CB (All the Right Moves). While very talented, Djordevic falls almost out of the first round because he is only five feet tall.
31. Arizona Cardinals – Julian Washington, RB (Any Given Sunday). The Cardinals had the corpse of Edgerrin James at running back last season. Washington going to Arizona gives the Cards one of the best offenses in the NFL.
32. Pittsburgh Steelers – Manumana, C (Necessary Roughness). The only knock on the Steelers last season was that their offensive line sucked. Manumana helps shore it up and keep Roethlisberger on his feet.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Welcome to Melrose's Mullet
Welcome to Melrose's Mullet, named after the great Barry Melrose. The authors will be myself, Butters and my friend Twister. Topics will be whatever the hell we feel like writing about (ranging my UMaine sports to Erin Andrews). As a thank you for reading this shitty post, here is a picture of Maine native, the glorious Erin Andrews:
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